Hard Work

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Too Effing Funny!

I wish I was around when this dude was.

A 'Swell' Show

You'd think the Ireland-based Swell Season would be used to beer-sloshed crowds, but on Saturday's show at the Royal Oak Music Theatre, the rowdy, booze guzzlers became too much for the attention-required band. So much so that frontman Glen Hansard, who was accompanied by his four-piece band The Frames, told the sold out crowd who were hooting, hollering and gabbing during Marketa Irglova's hauntingly quiet "The Hills" to show a li'l R-E-S-P-E-C-T. He asked them, along with security's radios, to shhh, especially when his girlfriend - who was offended and scurried off stage even after warning the crowd that her song would require more ear, and less mouths - brought her hushed voice to the stage. "Did you know who you were going to see?" he asked, before admitting noise during his woman's songs makes him "fucking angry" and dedicating his next song, "Leave," to those who were more interested in telling their friend, like the women next to me, how oh-so cute Irglova looked in her farmgirl get-up. After a male fan asked Hansard to get his singing partner from behind the curtain, she returned and sashayed to the front of the stage, where the guy apologized on behalf of those who couldn't keep their traps shut long enough to hear Irglova's angelic voice. Peace was made, people were happy, and the middle-aged woman next to me - aside from continuing to aw over Irglova, and asking me, "Why are you taking notes?" - simmered down, But, I regret to say, the man in back of me continued his string of "Yeaaaaaah, baby!" Still, I found myself completely mesmerized when the show continued with an early cherry-topped dessert, "Falling Slowly," the soaring piano-guitar-string ballad that scored the duo an Oscar for Best Original Song when the sweeping song was used in last year's film "Once," where they derived most of the night's material from. As in the movie, chemistry between the lower-voiced Hansard and his soprano counterpart brimmed, and it became - along with "When Your Mind's Made Up," a swelling jam where Hansard's gruff growl launched into moving wails - the nearly two-hour show's highlight. Also performing heart-capturing lullaby-like "If You've Gotta Go, Go With Happiness" (perhaps another stab at those noise-makers?) and string-lined "This Low," the Swell Season proved to be a charming catch - even if some of the audience didn't think so.

Hahahahahahahaha!

As if Mariah's "Touch My Body" wasn't already pretty frickin' funny, Jackie Beat's gone ahead and turned the campy don't-leak-our-sex-tape hit into a uproarious stab at body image. "Retouch My Body" parodies Mimi with lyrics about chubsters being in denial of their weight and getting Photoshopped by someone who worked on "Jurassic Park." But, god forbid, if they make her look like a lezzie, she (with rifle in hand) borrows the kiddish-but-creepy M.C. line and threatens: "I will hunt you down." Song's hilarious enough, but the video – which shows Jackie shoveling French fries into her mouth, and using Mariah's token fan to make her hair gently blow – is absolutely worth a watch. Or three. 

Cyndi Lauper Loves Me!

And I love her, too! Though I did note that I've only cried during her show (while she sang the stirring "True Colors) and I expressed my gratitude for all her LGBT support (she said she's kind of an extended member of the family – aww!), I managed to do minimal gushing during my interview with her late last week. I had to act sorta professional – as tough as it was not to fall into the I'm-such-a-big-fan-and-I-heart-you mode. After our gab session, her publicist shot me an e-mail. She said: "Cyndi thought you were so sweet and you had fab questions for her!" This definitely more than makes up for the time Jenny McCarthy hung up on me! 

Look for the interview in Between The Lines in June. 

Awww!

Someday, I hope this – the sweet Kevin-Scotty engagement proposal on last night's "Brothers & Sisters" – will happen to me. Even though I prefer not to change light bulbs (they don't really like me).