Adrien Brody, Uptight?

In the new issue of The Advocate, the actor, who's currently shooting a movie in Howell, is. Check out part of the interview below, and then click here for the complete Q-and-A.

What if a man had presented you with your Oscar instead of Halle Berry? Were you so wrapped up in the moment that you might have kissed him too?

That’s a pretty silly question. No, obviously not. Part of the excitement was that it was a beautiful woman presenting me with such a beautiful moment in my life.

Is there any actor for whom you would’ve made an exception?
No.

Let’s try another approach: For your next gay role, who’d you choose for your on-screen love interest? 
You want me to name an actor? No, I can’t answer that question, Brandon. See, you ask me how I deal with rumors, and I also have to deal with not adding fuel to them. Something that would be a completely innocuous comment on my part will be completely taken out of context by the next journalist, so I’d appreciate it if you were understanding about that.

Have I put you in a bad mood?
I’m still in a good mood, but I’m also a relatively serious person, so these questions are difficult for me.

So I guess I shouldn’t ask if it’s true what they say about a man with a prominent nose?
Why would you do that to somebody? You and I don’t know each other, right? We’re complete strangers, actually. I’m being respectful to you, so you have to extend the same courtesy.

Oh, Adrien, it’s all in good fun. I’m trying to show your sense of humor here.
I didn’t sign up for that.

Madge-ic Moments

“Make a hometown girl feel welcome,” Madonna urged at her long-time-coming return to Michigan Nov. 18 at Ford Field. And they did. All 30,000 of them. Amidst a undersold sea of girls and gays, the Rochester native performed, as part of her “Sticky & Sweet Tour,” her first home-state show in seven years, suggestively opening with her leg thrown over the side of a throne. For two zippy hours, she extended her unflappable energy through a short-on-sex spectacle that was, as expected, a grandiose, bipolar – but mostly hella fun – affair. It was easy to get lost in her labyrinth of awesomeness, and I did. Heck, even a few days later I'm still wow-ing over these moments (multiple Madonnas! “Material Girl”! Double Dutching!) – dreaming of them, waking up to them, bragging (endlessly) about them. Let’s hope it’s not another seven years before we do it again, Madonna. 

NEW OLDIES

The Queen of Reinvention lived up to that title. Toying with oldies-but-goodies – a punk-rock “Borderline” (with Madonna rocking the electric guitar), a on-speed “Into the Groove,” and a risky, but effing fab, hyper-Latin “La Isla Bonita” – was another reminder why wannabes continue trying to top her swagger, style and sophistication, but never come close.

THE ZINGERS 

Plenty escaped her unfiltered mouth – but not just when she sang (or pretended to). She harassed some dude with an allegedly bad ‘do, she sneered when people wouldn’t sing along, but, best of all, she recognized her Michigan MIA-ness: “I don’t come here very often – so, please, make a big deal out of it.” (No problem!).

JUMP ROPING

Jump roping double Dutch style, not just a thing for fifth grade girls. Even though she looked like one, (barely) dressed in teeny-tiny, apple-red shorts – and an ear-to-ear smile – she, during “Into the Groove,” gleefully made an elementary pastime part of a sly, old-school song section. Next tour: Hopscotch, please? 

For the complete list, check out Between The Lines on Thursday. And, Madonna fans, what were some of your Madge-ic moments? 

BTL Reader Likes to Hump, and Hump, and Hump

I don't get a whole heckuva lot of letters at BTL, but when I do, they're more than worth the wait. Just a few weeks ago I received a hand-written letter on notebook paper from a guy looking for a seven-feet tall, red-headed "monster" who could crush him. Yeah, seriously. Now, this is the latest letter (or some of it, since the original is four pages long and basically says the same thing over and over) to make its way into my inbox. And it's just as hilarious, especially considering it has little to do with its subject line: "Gay marriage in Conn."

Dear Editor,

This is my Take on Gay Marriage that the State of Connecticut, State Supreme Court made it legal in CT. for couples of the same sex to wed, Well here is my take on this-from both sides-using me as a real life example ...

A man loving a man,(very strongly) and showing that affection through, kiss, touch, caress, and humping his thigh even fully clothed isn`t a problem.(it appears to be anal sex that the bible frowns on).

Have I ever had a relationship with a man, yes I lived with him for 2 years too.

A hot hunk built like a football player/wrestler blond hair, blue eyes, apx. 225-250 lbs, very smooth skin, and I humped those smooth thighs of his. Humped him while he wore skin tight leathers, naked, in the shower, bath tub out side, in bed and on my bike(A GOLD WING), he too loved rubbing it on the seat. He looked good in my leathers, and helmet, and we were into the same stuff, outdoors, camping, riding my motorcycle, traveling, then life took him else were, and that was that.

The last guy I humped(his thighs) was of a similar description as my former lover mentioned above, and that was on the fly, and over 3 years ago ...

So about my self:

At a very early age, and I do mean very early age I learned how it worked-without anyone showing or telling me anything-and that may have been the biggest help here, plus no books, magazines, movies were around to show me either, I would learn for myself.

I rubbed it on those very shiny vinyl bicycle banana seats, a very smooth, and shiny saddle of a fiber glass horse(the kind that was mounted to a spring steel metal support,(the rocking motion really helped here), real cars, corvette bodies, snowmobile seat, and motorcycle seats, and I had the hots for thighs too, and humped them as well.

Even back then I would learn about leathers, like racing leathers, race suits, touring leathers, vinyl,like jackets, rain coats, car seats rubber boots, and rain wear, smooth plastic, like helmets, large toy cars, sun glasses and such.

Then I would learn about fetishes, like cars, motorcycles, spandex(cyclists thighs) leathers, vinyl, rubber, latex, helmets, du rags (this one was much later in life-and a shiny du rag is hot when humping a hunk`s thigh. uniforms.

...and fantasy too... humping guys thighs in gear, wrestlers, football players, athletes, cyclist, bikers, bat man, and robin, and the Bat mobile, Bat cycle, Bat plane, Speed Racer, and the Mach 5, Knight Rider, and Kit. One fantasy came true, and that was humping a real, and very sexy, and shiny airplane.

This really took off when I would see motorcycle cops. With or without a cape, the helmet, leather jacket, boots, the bike, and their builds(body), and those shiny helmets, with their sun glasses a real turn on with me, I like to see them in skin tight leathers, vinyl, or rubber authentic uniforms, and in the summer, skin tight black, or dark blue pouch pants, power thighs that are smooth, with a natural shine to the skin, black shiny boots, pvc vest worn over a white tee shirt, sun glasses, shiny police helmet(shorty) , for me, my real life super heroes--and then came bicycle cops in shorts

I love to rub it on the smooth skin of their thighs, the leathers, and the soft, and smooth, shiny vinyl seats of motorcycles. The closest that I ever came to this is humping guys who rode motorcycles, and wore the gear(which ranged from skin tight leathers, vinyl , and rubber uniforms. And those muscular thighs with their ever so smooth skin(hump many a thighs that fit that description.

I have humped many a motorcycle seats,like gold wings((owned several-one was a an early 80s model with a seat to die for, humped it like mad), kawasaki, 900/1000/ltds Suzuki GS 1400, AND HAVE HUMPED JUST THE SEAT IT SELF IN BED,THE SHOWER,AND THE BEST A BATH TUB OF HOT AND SOAPY WATER-vinyl is a rubber like, very smooth, and shiny,. Cars got it too when I was a kid mustangs got humped a lot,a Porsche as did the plastic/fiberglass bodies of vets. Fork lifts seats, snowmobiles dirt bikes---working in the shops really helped my humping a lot. leathers got it too,as did helmets. Yes I had a hot hunk blue eyes,blond hair smooth skin(thighs got it the most)humped him in and out of my skin tight leathers,and he would like it when I was humping him bent over my gold wing as he too loved the soft,and smooth vinyl as he rubbed it, and siding on that seat, till he got off on it.

I have humped a bike like it was being raped, I squirted the extremely shiny seat with baby oil, which is very slippery. I laid the bike down, a gold wing it was. got completely naked, and up on the bike and humped that smooth, and very slick seat. The bike had case guards around the engine, and got the bike rocking. I was like the bike was trying to get away,and I said oh no you don`t humping, and rocking her harder, and harder until I blew my load all over that shiny seat.

When I was a child, I couldn't`t keep it off a girls thigh either, and they love to rub it on bicycle seats. my legs,and a very large very smooth, and shiny black plastic jet, she loved the nose, and I humped its body, big enough to get on, and strong enough to hold my weight, we did it not knowing what it was all about, only that it felt good.

Dreamed of humping Wonder Woman`s thighs, bat girl, and her bike, rubber woman, as I grew older, I drifted away from humping woman, and later found out that it was a good that it happened that way.

As for humping a woman`s thigh today, sure, I would tell her that I`m bi, and ask if she is spoken for, yet I don`t go looking, but at the same time, I would love to have a woman, built like wonder woman, who likes her thighs to be humped rather then intercourse, and is bi too, she`ll better understand, and relate to me and where I`m coming from, and is in to the same things that I`m into too.

I`m a defender of the family, whereby I protect, defend, and preserve the family from extinction---IF THE FAMILY GOES---WE`VE HAD IT.

Yet, should a hot hunk wearing the gear, has the toys, offer me a good time, I will be a humping his thighs, leathers and his motorcycle, in short---Humping the thighs of men, always, and forevermore.

Fake Whitney Album: Hilarious!

Spreading through the Web like herpes is this cover of Whitney Houston's upcoming album. It's fake, people. But still hil-ar-ious!  

Reel Pride Opening Gala Film: 'Tru'-ly Unloved

If the final aw-moments in “Tru Loved” were indeed true, California’s deplorable Prop. 8 wouldn’t have stood a chance in hell of passing. But, topped with a pretty pink bow, queer writer-director Stewart Wade’s out-of-touch dramedy mostly deserved the beating it got from Roger Ebert when the film critic recently decided eight minutes of the movie was enough, walked out and gave it a thumbs down based on what he saw (he later, after controversy erupted, screened the film in entirety, still maintaining his one-star rating).

It’s obvious why. So much story is crammed in, so many characters are loose, stereotypical archetypes, and so much of your time will be wasted if you see this drab bore – unless you’re looking for messages that’ll massage your heart and super-glue a smile on your face. That it does, and well. “Tru Loved” actually begins promisingly, with lesbian moms and their name-called straight daughter, Tru, who deals with a new town, a new high school, new friends and the inevitable snotty teenage clique. The 16-year-old (the film’s champ, Najarra Townsend), realizes her potential new boyfriend, Lodell (Matthew Thompson), is queer. To keep it on the down-low, she acts as his diversion. Things get complicated when Tru launches a GSA and, during a meeting, spots a hetero hottie. Had the movie’s remainder fleshed out Tru’s straight-kid-with-gay-parents story, this humdrum after-school special could’ve materialized into a groundbreaking queer film. Instead it’s stuck in quick sand – and sinks into an abyss of been-there-done-that gay cinema. Compared to last year’s endearing festival-opener “Shelter” – and several better choices, like the avant-garde “Were the World Mine,” also at the current Reel Pride Film Festival – it’s a mighty shame this drivel was selected for the opening night gala. Just about everything in Wade’s script is obvious – the piggish football coach who calls his players “girls,” the triumphant coming-out story, the gayer-than-Christmas dads. And as if slapping on more rainbow hues than a Rubik’s Cube wasn’t bad enough, “Tru Loved” feels fake, like a lot of the acting. Almost like it’s been lifted out of one of the cheesy, uncalled-for daydreams in the beginning. The homophobic jock instantly comes around when his buddy escapes the closet and everyone and their homophobic mother is gay (including all four of Tru’s parents, her new pal, a teacher, her boyfriend’s dad). It ends sweetly with a wedding – but would school staff who doesn’t even know the couple getting hitched really attend? It might have a lot of heart, and will probably be embraced for its clogged message cache, but you have to wonder where all the brain went. C-

If you saw the film, what'd you think? Did you feel all heart-warmed? Or ready to walk out like Ebert did? 

Also, read more Reel Pride coverage, including an interview with Michael Emerson (Ben Linus of "Lost"), in the latest issue of Between The Lines, out now. Or online tomorrow at www.pridesource.com. 

Mariah, I Love You – But Put The Boobs Away

No Marriage? No Taxes, Says Melissa Etheridge

One of my favorite rock chicks, Melissa Etheridge, spoke out about the recent passing of Prop 8 in California, where she lives with her longtime wife (or girlfriend? BFF? roommate?). Her words are profound, true and heartbreaking. 

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books. To continue reading, click here 

Talking to Ben Linus – Uh, Er, Michael Emerson!

I love me some "Lost," especially Michael Emerson as once-creeptastic Ben Linus. Who knew the very queer-friendly actor played gay in one of the films being screened at the Reel Pride Film Festival next week in Royal Oak? I didn't until "Ready? OK!" – about a boy who wants to be a cheerleader –  showed up on my desk! His wife, the uber-sweet Carrie Preston (who played Felicity Huffman's sis in "Transamerica" and "Desperate Housewives" and currently stars in Alan Ball's "True Blood"), produced and starred in the film. They're definitely one of the nicest, most gay-amicable couples ever (Emerson was fired up about Prop 8's unfortunate passing), and I chatted with both of them today. Check out the story next week when we preview the film festival.  

OMG – IT'S RUTH FISHER!

"Six Feet Under"'s control freak mom, Ruth Fisher (played by the divine Frances Conroy), got the intimacy she so longed for in my absolute favorite series (still!). Tonight on "Desperate Housewives" Conroy played a lonely woman who got a little more than just a massage from Gaby's hubby Carlos. She got an orgasm. I can't even begin to tell you how geeked (so excited, in fact, that this is the first post with an all-capped title) I was when her name popped up in the opening credits. I missed you, Ruth! In honor of her playing another lonesome soul (she does it so damn well!), I had to reminisce on one of television's greatest mothers, one that could break your heart and make you laugh all in one scene. So, I dug up this YouTube video below. Breaks me into tiny pieces every time. 

To watch tonight's episode of "Desperate Housewives," head to www.abc.com 

Do Not Vote ... NOT!

Hilarious and empowering. Do it! Vote!