Hahahahahahahaha!

As if Mariah's "Touch My Body" wasn't already pretty frickin' funny, Jackie Beat's gone ahead and turned the campy don't-leak-our-sex-tape hit into a uproarious stab at body image. "Retouch My Body" parodies Mimi with lyrics about chubsters being in denial of their weight and getting Photoshopped by someone who worked on "Jurassic Park." But, god forbid, if they make her look like a lezzie, she (with rifle in hand) borrows the kiddish-but-creepy M.C. line and threatens: "I will hunt you down." Song's hilarious enough, but the video – which shows Jackie shoveling French fries into her mouth, and using Mariah's token fan to make her hair gently blow – is absolutely worth a watch. Or three.