BTL Reader Likes to Hump, and Hump, and Hump

I don't get a whole heckuva lot of letters at BTL, but when I do, they're more than worth the wait. Just a few weeks ago I received a hand-written letter on notebook paper from a guy looking for a seven-feet tall, red-headed "monster" who could crush him. Yeah, seriously. Now, this is the latest letter (or some of it, since the original is four pages long and basically says the same thing over and over) to make its way into my inbox. And it's just as hilarious, especially considering it has little to do with its subject line: "Gay marriage in Conn."

Dear Editor,

This is my Take on Gay Marriage that the State of Connecticut, State Supreme Court made it legal in CT. for couples of the same sex to wed, Well here is my take on this-from both sides-using me as a real life example ...

A man loving a man,(very strongly) and showing that affection through, kiss, touch, caress, and humping his thigh even fully clothed isn`t a problem.(it appears to be anal sex that the bible frowns on).

Have I ever had a relationship with a man, yes I lived with him for 2 years too.

A hot hunk built like a football player/wrestler blond hair, blue eyes, apx. 225-250 lbs, very smooth skin, and I humped those smooth thighs of his. Humped him while he wore skin tight leathers, naked, in the shower, bath tub out side, in bed and on my bike(A GOLD WING), he too loved rubbing it on the seat. He looked good in my leathers, and helmet, and we were into the same stuff, outdoors, camping, riding my motorcycle, traveling, then life took him else were, and that was that.

The last guy I humped(his thighs) was of a similar description as my former lover mentioned above, and that was on the fly, and over 3 years ago ...

So about my self:

At a very early age, and I do mean very early age I learned how it worked-without anyone showing or telling me anything-and that may have been the biggest help here, plus no books, magazines, movies were around to show me either, I would learn for myself.

I rubbed it on those very shiny vinyl bicycle banana seats, a very smooth, and shiny saddle of a fiber glass horse(the kind that was mounted to a spring steel metal support,(the rocking motion really helped here), real cars, corvette bodies, snowmobile seat, and motorcycle seats, and I had the hots for thighs too, and humped them as well.

Even back then I would learn about leathers, like racing leathers, race suits, touring leathers, vinyl,like jackets, rain coats, car seats rubber boots, and rain wear, smooth plastic, like helmets, large toy cars, sun glasses and such.

Then I would learn about fetishes, like cars, motorcycles, spandex(cyclists thighs) leathers, vinyl, rubber, latex, helmets, du rags (this one was much later in life-and a shiny du rag is hot when humping a hunk`s thigh. uniforms.

...and fantasy too... humping guys thighs in gear, wrestlers, football players, athletes, cyclist, bikers, bat man, and robin, and the Bat mobile, Bat cycle, Bat plane, Speed Racer, and the Mach 5, Knight Rider, and Kit. One fantasy came true, and that was humping a real, and very sexy, and shiny airplane.

This really took off when I would see motorcycle cops. With or without a cape, the helmet, leather jacket, boots, the bike, and their builds(body), and those shiny helmets, with their sun glasses a real turn on with me, I like to see them in skin tight leathers, vinyl, or rubber authentic uniforms, and in the summer, skin tight black, or dark blue pouch pants, power thighs that are smooth, with a natural shine to the skin, black shiny boots, pvc vest worn over a white tee shirt, sun glasses, shiny police helmet(shorty) , for me, my real life super heroes--and then came bicycle cops in shorts

I love to rub it on the smooth skin of their thighs, the leathers, and the soft, and smooth, shiny vinyl seats of motorcycles. The closest that I ever came to this is humping guys who rode motorcycles, and wore the gear(which ranged from skin tight leathers, vinyl , and rubber uniforms. And those muscular thighs with their ever so smooth skin(hump many a thighs that fit that description.

I have humped many a motorcycle seats,like gold wings((owned several-one was a an early 80s model with a seat to die for, humped it like mad), kawasaki, 900/1000/ltds Suzuki GS 1400, AND HAVE HUMPED JUST THE SEAT IT SELF IN BED,THE SHOWER,AND THE BEST A BATH TUB OF HOT AND SOAPY WATER-vinyl is a rubber like, very smooth, and shiny,. Cars got it too when I was a kid mustangs got humped a lot,a Porsche as did the plastic/fiberglass bodies of vets. Fork lifts seats, snowmobiles dirt bikes---working in the shops really helped my humping a lot. leathers got it too,as did helmets. Yes I had a hot hunk blue eyes,blond hair smooth skin(thighs got it the most)humped him in and out of my skin tight leathers,and he would like it when I was humping him bent over my gold wing as he too loved the soft,and smooth vinyl as he rubbed it, and siding on that seat, till he got off on it.

I have humped a bike like it was being raped, I squirted the extremely shiny seat with baby oil, which is very slippery. I laid the bike down, a gold wing it was. got completely naked, and up on the bike and humped that smooth, and very slick seat. The bike had case guards around the engine, and got the bike rocking. I was like the bike was trying to get away,and I said oh no you don`t humping, and rocking her harder, and harder until I blew my load all over that shiny seat.

When I was a child, I couldn't`t keep it off a girls thigh either, and they love to rub it on bicycle seats. my legs,and a very large very smooth, and shiny black plastic jet, she loved the nose, and I humped its body, big enough to get on, and strong enough to hold my weight, we did it not knowing what it was all about, only that it felt good.

Dreamed of humping Wonder Woman`s thighs, bat girl, and her bike, rubber woman, as I grew older, I drifted away from humping woman, and later found out that it was a good that it happened that way.

As for humping a woman`s thigh today, sure, I would tell her that I`m bi, and ask if she is spoken for, yet I don`t go looking, but at the same time, I would love to have a woman, built like wonder woman, who likes her thighs to be humped rather then intercourse, and is bi too, she`ll better understand, and relate to me and where I`m coming from, and is in to the same things that I`m into too.

I`m a defender of the family, whereby I protect, defend, and preserve the family from extinction---IF THE FAMILY GOES---WE`VE HAD IT.

Yet, should a hot hunk wearing the gear, has the toys, offer me a good time, I will be a humping his thighs, leathers and his motorcycle, in short---Humping the thighs of men, always, and forevermore.